Sunday, April 21, 2013

Portfolio Blog

I've added another sister blog to my name. My portfolio will be a place where I can show my past short stories and poems I've written over the years and a place for me to post future writings and things.

http://richardoldandnew.blogspot.com/

Here's something I don't like: People who don't like things for the sole purpose of trying to make themselves feel above other people. Not like me mind you. Everything I write about here are my legitimate thoughts and personal complaints. What I'm talking about is people who just shoot down things that they know people like just to feel powerful. For some people, they feel too insecure to allow others to know if they're ever impressed or moved or inspired by anything because it would show vulnerability on their part. When you admit to liking something you show that you are impressionable and you are capable of letting your soul be penetrated so to speak. You expose part of your shell and let slip that you are permeable. A lot of people don't have that strength to put themselves out there, so they put up the unimpressed front hoping this will make others respect them as if everyone thinks every time that person shoots something down they go "wow this guy must be soooo smart and sooooo worthwhile that his standards are soooo high."

I know this must sound ironic coming from me. But Richard, you don't like anything! You ARE that guy that shoots everything down! You admit it right on your blog! You're a big hypocrite!! Yes. Yes I am. Because I truly don't like a single thing in the known universe.

Here is a self portrait:



Moxley part II coming soon.

Tootles

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

A Blog Series

As long as I'm criticizing everything I thought I would also answer the question: "You think you can do better?" And the answer is yes I think I can. So I'm also starting a fiction blog series that I will update as the story progresses. Here is the link:

MOXLEY

I hope you will enjoy it.

~ Richard Joseph G ~

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

On the topic of People Trying to Justify Pedophilia:


Sorry. Not funny.

Still to come for this blog:

I Don't Like Popular Music
I Don't Like FOX
I Don't Like USA Network or TBS
I Don't Like Conservative Values or Policies

Have a Happy Day!

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

I Don't Like Naruto

Well it's no secret that I don't like anime. But without a doubt, the anime I like least of all is Naruto. This may come as a surprise since Naruto is so freaking popular. This show exploded really. Its characters are as iconic in the anime world as Darth Vader or Harry Potter. So why should I hate it so much? By all counts it should be a show that I don't hate. The shameless exploitation of women is toned down (a bit), the protagonist is very unique (by anime standards of what is unique) and it's apparently supposed to have a really good story line and solid writing. Do I say 'apparently' a lot? Apparently.

You may be surprised to learn that I've watched quite a lot of Naruto. I watched it with my younger sister who was very into anime growing up and I was very into making her miserable while she watched it. I want to address all these notions that Naruto is a quality show.

I've got a secret:

IT ISN'T

So the so-called good writing is tons of episodes of filler. It has the Dragonball Z style of making episodes by stretching fight scenes out for entire seasons. It's just fucking boring to watch two guys growl at each other while we sit through endless flashbacks. First we're on a bridge in the rain for an entire season with the guy in the swirly mask, then we're jumping from branch to branch in a forest battling a giant snake for the next season, and then the next season is literally just all the characters standing in a boring pale-green room where we see all the characters get matched up against each other.

It also does the tired old anime thing where some observer of the fight with his/her eyes closed explains to another character the intricate workings of whatever technique the character is about to perform. They even show diagrams of the inside of the human body to tell how everyone's powers work. All this expository information is accomplished by a person telling the audience how everything works. I mean christ this is writing 101: show, do not tell. Who's idiotic idea was it to put pseudo-science human body diagrams with dull, lengthy explanations into what is supposed to be an action cartoon about ninjas?

I thought ninjas were supposed to be stealthy; why does Naruto dress like a traffic cone?

At some point in the show, they introduce the concept of the "Legendary Sannin" who are supposed to be like the three most powerful ninjas. They are revealed to be the three students of the head ninja or "Hogake" and a parallel is drawn to Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura being a team of three ninjas. You got the spunky spikey-haired misfit, the dark-haired mysterious one, and the token girl character. I won't go on about the details too much, but the important thing is one of them is this anime's 'lovable pervert' character. One episode he spies on women in a bath house, in another episode he demands Naruto to perform his "sexy jutsu" in which he turns himself into a naked girl. But remember this character deep down is a good person. He's held in the highest esteem in the show as this great legendary thing. I get that they were trying to go for an irony here. That in spite of him being a legend, he's also dysfunctional. But did they really have to make him a creepy sex offender like every anime ever? This is the show that's supposed to bring some fresh ideas?

Naruto is so damn pleased with itself. The opening credits just screams: "LOOK AT ALL THE CHARACTERS. WE'VE GOT SO MANY CHARACTERS. CHARACTERS CHARACTERS CHARACTERS." And because they've spread themselves so thin to have so many characters, they end up very one-dimensional. Shikamaru is a genius, but a slacker. Got it. That's all there is to him. Choji is fat. That's his whole character; he eats a lot. Orochimaru is a bad guy. He likes snakes and wants to kill everyone. Oh noes. And we've also still got all the boring, tired, old anime architypes. Gramps the Hokage, Hinata the apologizing no-self-esteem girl, Kabuto the mysterious guy with glasses, Tsunade the alcoholic 30-something, Jiraiya the lovable pervert. Maybe I'm just jaded because I haven't made an anime yet. These things make so much goddamn money and they write themselves. They're easy to draw and really minimal animation is required.

I want to talk about my favorite character: Sakura. She is the token girl member of Naruto's team and she's about as token as you can get. Every fight she's always standing back and watching and squealing worriedly whenever the boys get hurt. The boys feel it is their sworn duty to protect her like she were a princess, yet she's supposed to be just as part of the team as they are. I thought she was training to be a ninja too, I guess I don't even know... But wait, finally we get the episode "Sakura blossoms" where she apparently does some shit! The episode actually addresses the fact that she's been not doing anything for the entire series. So let's see you do something about it! So we.... watch a lot of flashbacks, then someone grabs her by the hair and she SHOCKINGLY cuts her hair to escape. This cutting of the hair sequence immediately triggers many other flashbacks and lasts kind of a stupidly long amount of time. She doesn't even really use this opportunity to counter attack the person that grabbed her. She just cuts her hair free and takes a few steps forward. The person who grabbed her just looks at her like an idiot when really she could just run up and grab her by the hair again. It's not THAT much shorter. So really Sakura cutting her hair does nothing at all. Lee and Ino even have time to mutter a few words to themselves while everyone's just kind of standing around doing nothing.

Source

So the male character of the other team commands the female character of his team to attack Sakura, but when she does Sakura does a "substitution jutsu" and it's revealed that the Sakura they saw was just a magic illusion and really just a log. I'm sorry I'm just not buying this substitution thing. It's got to be the worst plot device I've ever seen. You're telling me that she has the power to make a tangible, moving, lifelike illusion of herself instantly while vanishing completely and undetected and then move silently to somewhere else? And this is one of the beginner ninja moves so everyone knows how to do this? So this literally gives the writers permission to at any point they don't want a character to die or get captured or if a character needs to escape, then can just say it's a substitution jutsu.

So wait, when she was held down by her hair, was she the real thing or was she the substitute? Well she had to have been the real thing or all those boring tear-filled flashbacks would have been meaningless and there would be no need for her to cut her hair. But no one takes their eyes off her for even a second when she cuts her hair and escapes, it's just too implausible. I know this is a fantasy show where people do magic and the like, but even in a fantasy you need to establish rules on what kind of reality the people live in. It's established in the world of Naruto that you can't do magic unless you do a series of dumb hand signs in quick succession.

BUT WAIT she does do hand signs! But the guy attacking her immediately says he recognizes the hand sign. So it would be a spell that he knows. But then he's surprised when she turns out to be a substitute. So when did she escape and turn herself into a substitute and how did she do this in such a way that not a single person notices? Anyway, she reappears and starts running towards a guy giving him plenty of time to reach into his fanny pack to pull out some knives and throw them at her. But this Sakura turns out to also be a substitute! Boy now I'm really on the edge of my seat. So finally she drops down above the guy and he spots her immediately and again has plenty of time to reach into his fanny pack and throw more knives at her. It's revealed that it's the real her and she takes all the stab wounds so she can stab him once and bite him on the arm.

This is the end of the blossoming. She holds onto his arm with her teeth and she cries and cries. Was this her plan all along? If she was just going to take a hit from a bunch of knives like that, then what was the point of the substitutes in the first place? I'm just not understanding what this episode was supposed to illustrate. To me it just seems like a lame attempt by the show's creators to respond to criticism of their leading female character. It's like they wanted to prove to everyone, "no really she's not a wimp! Watch this episode of her actually doing shit! See?" And if anything this attempt backfired because all this episode proves is that she really is completely useless.

Her whole character is a representation of how girls and women are portrayed in this show. Sakura, along with Ino, both became ninjas because they were in love with Sasuke. While characters like Naruto have legitimate ambitions in life like wanting to be the leader of all the ninjas or Sasuke wanting revenge on the guy that murdered his whole family, female characters have such shitty ambitions of their own that it's fucking offensive. What's Sakura's goal in life? To not be a burden to the boys. What's Ino's ambition? To be Sasuke's girlfriend. These are the lead female characters; the ones that preteen girls are supposed to relate to. What kind of message does that say? "Try your best girls. Try your very best. But remember you'll never be as good as the boys."

When all the characters are in the boring green room matching up against one another, every girl that is matched against a boy loses. We're also introduced to a female character who seems to be invincible. She starts off saying that she can win in three moves. And she does. Against another girl of course. And everyone puzzles themselves about how she does it. I was actually intrigued by this character. She had a great set up with the giant fan and the three moon symbols on the fan and by the 3rd moon she'd win. I was expecting her to be a new super villain for the show or something. But later she gets matched up against a boy and it's revealed that her power is just blasting wind at people and all the mystery goes away. She doesn't even try the whole 3 moons thing in the second round, she just blasts the guy with the same move over and over until she loses by being outsmarted.

But Richard, what about Tsunade? She becomes Hokage and has super strength and is one of the legendary Sannin! How can you ignore the fact that she's a strong female character? Yes the giant-boobed alcoholic that gets wasted at the bar when she's supposed to be running the city that's currently in a state of peril. She's so respectable. Naruto calls her 'grandma' because she's older than 20. And her special power is.... healing? So she can...... heal the men who do the fighting? Oh and she's afraid of blood. She's a healer.... that's afraid of blood. This is because her brother died and she has trauma. Sasuke's whole family was butchered in front him by his own brother but he's not afraid of blood or has any signs of post traumatic stress disorder. Why is the head of a ninja clan afraid of blood? Wait a minute I thought she was one of the legendary 3 ninjas, why are the other two ninjas so much better than her? The bad one is so much better that she can't even beat his student with the glasses. Wait why is she so bad that Naruto has to protect her? She's the Hokage and Naruto aspires to be the Hokage, which is the strongest ninja, but he has to protect the Hokage because she's not powerful enough to fight and all it takes to completely paralyze her is to throw a little blood on her. I'd say Naruto was already good enough to be Hokage.

Now some of you might say that the show doesn't get good until after the time lapse and Naruto Shipputen or whatever is much better. To that I say why should I bother? I don't like any of these characters. The writers of this show have failed. They don't deserve another chance from me. If Naruto Shit-Poo-Poo-Ten is their way of starting anew, then I say why didn't they just make a new ninja series with better characters? The only way I could see Shipputen being good is if they made all the characters completely different people. And if you're gonna do that, you might as well just write a new story. But Richard, you might say, I can't believe you won't even give it a chance! To that I say: BUH-LIEVE IT!!

I Don't Like Anime

Anime has become as popular to nerds in America as video games, the internet and masturbation. It's really quite perplexing. Why is it that Japan in particular is the foreign country that has such a strong presence in nerd culture? I mean yes, samurais and ninjas are cool and most white guys fancy Asian women above all other races of women, but is that really it? Hot chicks and sword violence? Well arguably, yeah that's all it takes to get a male nerd's attention, but I think it goes deeper than that.

Anime has had a strong presence in American culture since the 80s with its sci-fi and fantasy seizure-inducing violence, sexualization of women, and its race-less art style of people that's mysteriously appealing, and for a lot of people, mysteriously arousing. So I guess a lot of its influence has come from solid marketing choices. I've always thought Arabian belly dancing was the single sexiest thing on earth and I often wish there was more of it in the media whenever they decide to sexualize women. But most people don't share the same boner as me and think Japanese girls in school girl uniforms or revealing fantasy clothes or skin-tight spacesuits are the hottest thing. I guess Arabian culture is not as well advertised as Japanese culture. I guess I'll never get the reboot of I Dream of Jeannie I've been waiting for....

Come on Larry Hagman, don't act like you don't love it....



But here's what creeps me about this Japanese Culture thing: It's how breath-takingly misogynistic it is. There probably isn't much I can say that hasn't been said before I mean look at this:



But I mean so what? Like I said, American-made TV shows sexualize women too, so what if Japan does it? Well for one thing I think America does it too much anyway, but you know how in most 'sexy' scenes in American films and TV the women have some sort of empowerment? What I mean to say is when a sexy lady takes all her clothes off in an American movie, she's made the decision to do so with a willingness to either have sex or to flaunt herself in some way. The film-makers are still exploiting the sex appeal of her body, yes, but what's important is that she is in a position where she has control. Most importantly, she's aware of certain key concepts like nudity and sex.

In Anime, most of the time the women don't seem to understand these concepts. Women are often oblivious to the concepts of nudity and sex and shamelessly expose themselves; often making the male character go "GAAAGGHHAAGGHH" and fall over, or more bizarrely, his nose starts to bleed (is this a symbol of ejaculation? I've never understood this). Next the now-exposed woman can say "What's wrong? Are you alright?" in a tiny, squeaky, child-like voice. Woman often lose their clothes in an action scene or have them magically zapped away in public Ironically, the part of the video shown above that pisses me off the most is not the boobs wobbling around the bullets like they've got some kind of mutant muscles inside (I call them knockerceps). No it's the girl lying on top of the guy squealing and moaning in fear praying that the strong male character will save her. But her cries of fear don't sound like genuine cries of fear, they sound like sex noises. And even though they're supposed to fighting off a hoard of zombies (I think) the camera inexplicably zooms in on her boobs so we can see them jiggle around whenever the gun fires off. Shouldn't this be an action scene? Why is this show reaching for my willy at a time like this?

I can only describe the sexualization in anime as vulgar. Women's breasts jiggle around constantly, even when the women are just talking about normal stuff. They leap around at all times like Mexican jumping beans. If you're worried that the scene you've written is too boring to watch without boobs bouncing all over the screen, it's time to stop being a writer. It is common practice in animes, and in live action Japanese shows too, that the camera will for no reason at all be fixed on women's breasts or up skirts and really really really zoomed in so we can see nothing but the private parts. Meanwhile the actual scene going on in the background with any kind of plot points is I guess completely irreverent as long as we have something to rub off to at all times. It's too gratuitous and watching it feels too much like watching a porno. I've even watched anime that has been recommended to me as having apparently good writing, but the writing always takes a backseat to the softcore porn going on in the foreground. I'm trying to listen to what's going on in the story, but the image on the screen keeps trying to tug at my undercarriage. It's like watching Inception and while Leonardo DiCaprio is explaining how to infiltrate people's dreams, the camera is at a fixed angle zoomed in down Ellen Page's blouse.

And women are supposed to be okay with being objectified in this way. The women in these animes are always portrayed as complacent and submissive, just like old-timey Japanese culture. Not much has changed over there. Women get their asses grabbed, their boobs groped, their clothes pulled off all the time in these shows and while they yell and protest and punch the men doing these things, I've yet to see one anime man get arrested for sexual assault charges. There's always that wacky 'lovable pervert' character that gropes women and steals panties, but always portrayed as a comedic character with a heart of gold. He's never portrayed as what he'd be in real like: A registered sex offender. If you're watching these animes thinking that perverts are hilarious, go meet a real one and see how hysterically funny sexual offense is. Go talk to some of their victims while you're at it. I guarantee they're not going to say, "Well he's a PERVERT and I have to PUNCH HIM sometimes when he doesn't stop grabbing my boobs, but I never doubted that he's a good person inside!"

While we're on the topic of sexual abuse, let's move on to my next segment:

ACCEPTED PEDOPHILIA




Does the picture above give you a hard-on? It's from an anime called Gurren Lagann and the character pictured is written to be 14 years old. But in the world of anime, you can draw whatever you want and not get hit with child porn charges. Because does this look like a 14-year-old girl? Dream the fuck on. So why then is she written as a 14-year-old? Because being a really young age is an apparent turn-on for men in Japan. The majority of the sexed-up girl characters in anime are girls that are still in high school and under the age of 18. And this is a pretty well-renowned show. I even watched the movie with some friends and found some parts pretty enjoyable to watch. The fight scenes got so ridiculous with a clear sense of humor in them. I see some good writing choices and a lot of potential. So then why do we have to bring the fan service bullshit into the mix? Why do we have to have creepy child molestation undertones? I can't just relax and enjoy a movie when there's a 14-year-old girl character all sexed up and grown people are rubbing off to this.



The writing is so bad. So painfully bad. Every show is the same. Every show has the same characters: The lovable pervert, the spunky girl with no concept of sex, the alcoholic 30-something woman, the zero-self-esteem won't-stop-apologizing girl, the wimpy nerdy male protagonist that the male viewers are supposed to relate to, the arrogant male protagonist, the mysterious guy who wears glasses, the old sensei or "Gramps" as he's always referred to as,  the high-strung sexually-afraid girl whose job in the show is to get groped and punch the lovable pervert. I'd say about 90% of any anime I've seen or anime video game I've played, at some point there's going to be a woman who's bad at cooking. This is apparently comedic gold in Japan. The thought of a WOMAN who can't COOK is so hilariously beyond belief. You can find them in every show I swear it. Every show. ALL OF THEM. And there's always a beach episode so we can show all the girl characters in different bathing suits. And there's always a hot springs episode so we can show all the girl characters naked and then the wimpy male character can accidentally walk in on them and have them all throw towels on and toss baskets at him. Every character's face looks the same. The only way to tell one apart from the other is what kind of hairstyle and what kind of costume they got on.

But Richard, you're supposed to ignore all that. You're supposed to just sit through the softcore porno scenes of the underage girls and accept that it's the same group of characters every time and just skip the hot spring and beach episodes. Then anime is alright you see?

NO. I WILL NOT ACCEPT THIS.


This is my point exactly. Why are we settling for this schlock? We shouldn't have to be soldiering through terrible scene after terrible scene to get to the so-called 'good parts.' We shouldn't be wasting our time like that. Are there so few creative people in the world that this is how we have to entertain ourselves? Are we really at the mercy of uncreative pedophiles writing the same show over and over and over?

Reaching Out

It's often said about me that I don't like anything or that I hate everything. I complain about the songs on the radio too much, I bitch and moan about television shows and I rant about how I think every movie is crappy. There's been a lot of speculation about my emotional state that I would stoop so low as to criticize the entertainment industry. How bitter is Richard? How jaded is he? How often does he wake up screaming in the middle of the night having that same dream where he gets his face covered in carnivorous bee demons?

Well I'm happy to say that I'm here to put these rumors to rest. It's true. I am a miserable cynical mess of negative comments, bad juju and snarky remarks. I wish I could be complacent and enjoy everything for what it is and overlook the flaws and shortcomings of the entertainment industry. But I can't.

I can't because I have too much faith.

It is because I have too much love that I must hate everything. For it is only when there has been such a strong feeling of love that such a strong hatred can arise afterward. I love people. I believe human beings are capable of so much and have so much potential. So when I see something on TV or hear something on the radio and that something hits my brain and my brain registers it as shit, it makes me feel so unhappy. How could a human being make such a smelly shit like The Mindy Project or Jack the Giant Slayer? But it's shit like this that's making the idiots of the entertainment industry copious amounts of money, fame, praise, attention and fans. Why do we continue to accept mediocrity into our lives without any kind of demand for quality in our art? And God forbid we should ever move forward as a civilization.

But perhaps I think too far into these things. I should just drift along and let these things slide. No one else seems to have a problem letting these things slide. Oh I guess this is the modern age now. We don't get to have innovation and creativity anymore............. we're at our peak I guess....... I'll just be passive....... I'll just accept that it doesn't get any better than thisssssss.s.....s..ss.ss..s..s.s...ssss.....

NO.

NO NO NO.



I believe that people can learn from their mistakes. I believe that people will realize what crap has smothered our airwaves. So I'm here to shake off the bees and wake everyone up to inspire and to enlighten, and to provoke thought. Because I am not satisfied. I have to save the world.

~ Richard Joseph G ~